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DRIVE-IN RECOMMENDED On DVD:
Unknown – Everybody’s favorite action hero is back. Liam Neeson is…actually he doesn’t know who he is because he’s got amnesia and, still, he manages to kick some ass. And wait until you see what happens to January Jones. Unfortunately, if you see the TV trailer, Frank Langella’s character gives the entire premise away, something we were told about after enjoying the movie. True Grit – John Wayne won an Oscar for his portrayal of the mean, fat, drunk and one-eyed Rooster Cogburn and while Jeff Bridges is every bit the Rooster that Wayne was, he probably won’t win the Oscar. Neither will anyone else but they were all terrific. The Coen brothers make it very exciting. Unstoppable – It's a train movie and perhaps the most exciting train movie ever made and they are all exciting. Think about it. Every train movie ever made since The Train with Burt Lancaster. And it's Denzel Washington's second train movie in as many years. Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane (2007) – It is cheap and poorly written but it delivers some spectacular zombie action and performances. It is also conceptually irresistible. You have to see what happens and, yes, at one point Zombies will fall from the skies. Triangle (2009) – It's from Australia and it's a really creepy caught-in-a-time-loop kind of horror. Mongolian Death Worm (2010) – It's important to know this movie exists. I've watched it so you don't have to. Hard Revenge Milly (2008) – This movie is Japanese and only 43 minutes long and we don’t know why because it’s a really good 43 minutes with some classic Asian splatter (a lot of human blood geysers) and Millie, who clearly should be dead but has been technologically transformed into something and deadly. (Netflix) Hard Revenge Milly: Bloody Battle (2009) – It’s longer than the original (73 minutes) and bloodier and Millie gets her arm cut off but it barely slows her down. (Netflix) Sniper: Inside the Crosshairs (TV - 2009) – Let's dwell on the long distance kill shot. In Iraq, the snipers have a motto: be polite, be professional and be prepared to kill everyone you meet. This documentary shows you how they do it. It also shows you the mile and a half longest kill shot ever. It's movie about hunting humans. Case 39 (2009) – Best Renee Zelwigger movie ever, although Nurse Betty isn't bad. See live hornets crawl out of Bradley Cooper's eye, and his nose. A topnotch scary little kid movie. Inception (2010) – Leonardo DeCaprio is one of the dream police and he’s undercover and, just like Shutter, his wife is dead and his kids aren’t doing too well either. It’s conceptually slippery but everything seems to work in a spectacular way which is becoming routine for director Christopher Nolan. Frozen (2010) – We started to watch this but Shawn Ashmore was so irritating that we went to the last 20 minutes to see how it ended. It was dark, cold and stunning and Shawn Ashmore gets eaten by wolves so we’re recommending it. The Horseman (2010) – It's Austrailian and it's on cable and it's some showstopping vengeance from down under starting off with a bereaved father inflicting some ungodly pain and suffering on someone vaguely connected to his daughter's death after making a porn film. And that's pretty much the way it is for the next hour and a half. The Killer Inside Me (2010) – Another version of the Jim Thompson book about a homicidal maniac cleverly disguised as the local Deputy Sheriff. Casey Affleck, as the killer Lou Ford, gives a chilling low-keyed performance and spends about two minutes trying to beat Jessica Alba to death in a scene as brutal as we've ever watched. Cocaine Cowboys II: Hustlin’ with the Godmother (2008) – It’s a documentary and we don’t know how it holds up as a sequel because we didn’t see the first Cocaine Cowboys, but for some inside story telling this can’t be beat. Oakland street dealer Charles Cosby hooks up with the Columbia Godmother of cocaine and 45 days later he’s a millionaire on his way to becoming a billionaire. That was in the 80’s and Charles Cosby walked away at the top of his game still lives in the hood, a legend and a rich one. But he still worries about being murdered by the Godmother. Surrogates (2010) – It’s a fraudulent world where you never have to leave your house yet the thrills of a lifetime are there for your vicarious pleasure. You can see where it would be irresistible and it’s a lot of fun watching the surrogate Bruce Willis zipping around like a super hero. It’s also fun to watch the plug get pulled. The Children (2009) – A couple of friendly families getting together over the Christmas holidays are suddenly being murdered by their own children. There is something going around and it’s catching. Seriously disturbed children are very scary in the movies as well as out. The Other Guys – We can’t say for sure that this movie is any good, we just couldn’t stop laughing and it’s a team effort. Ferrel and Wahlberg. They appear to be made for each other. Jackson and Johnson weren’t bad either. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest – The final installment of the Swedish trilogy. Lisbeth spends almost all her time in custody but before it’s over she will personally dispatch of her personal nemesis, and half brother, Nederman. She uses a nail gun but it’s only a holding action. Hollywood will be remaking these movies and it seems like they’re so good, they can’t be fucked up. The Town – This is a hardcore look at some armed robbers in Boston where armed robbery is a lifestyle. It is directed by Ben Affleck who also gets a writing credit and it comes very close to redeeming him from being Ben Affleck but not quite. He can’t help himself and the end features a huge Ben Affleck moment that is very disappointing. Matt Damon seems so much tougher. Jennifer Garner seems tougher. Let Me In – Because it’s got more vampire action, it seems better than the Swedish original despite being a copy because it copies the original so perfectly. And, conveniently, it’s in English. Although I did miss the scene where she floats down to the ground. I’m just sayin’. Devil – M. Night Shyamalan wrote the story about a stuck elevator full of people who come to realize they are stuck with the Devil and he’s going to make it Hell for everyone, except the audience. It’s also very short and that’s nice. Machete – Based on the trailer of the same name, it's got Steven Seagal, Jeff Fahey, Robert DeNiro, Jessica Alba, Don Johnson and Lindsay Lohan, to mention a few. Other than that, it's all Danny Trejo who already has the sequel, Machete Kills and the sequel after that, Machete Kills Again, in the can. It's the greatest. Piranha 3D – It's exactly what you would expect which is a delightful surprise because these things are so often disappointing. It's also got Elizabeth Shue as the local sheriff desperately trying to get keep people from being eaten by large, prehistoric piranha that have invaded her lake. Her success is mixed. Get Low – Robert Duval wants a funeral and Bill Murray wants to give him one. Both of them could wind up with Oscars. Salt – It’s now official. Angelina Jolie can kick the ass of any other Hollywood action star on film and probably off.. And she can take a hellacious beating. This movie is non-stop thrills and Angelina sells every moment. She was last seen handcuffed, jumping out of a helicopter into the Potomac river and going on the run, hopefully, straight for the sequel. Winter's Bone – This is an Ozark Outlaw crime family movie, a genre no one has really ever seen before and it turns out just being there is scary as shit. Nothing quite like rednecks on crack. It also seems like John Hawkes has become a truly great American actor. Despicable Me – It doesn’t hurt to have Steve Carell doing the voice for Gru, arguably the greatest living villain operating today and the man who steals the moon. He also goes out of his way to be mean to kids until he adopts some and they, of course, steal his heart but even that’s funny. The Human Centipede – We here at Drive-in Reviews have not yet seen it but Roger has and you can't tell for sure but it seems he liked it, sort of: "Dr Heiter is a mad scientist... plans to surgically join his victims by sewing together their mouths and anuses, all in a row, so food goes in one end and out the other... depraved and disgusting enough to satisfy the most demanding midnight movie fan." Can't wait. Splice – Happy scientist couple create a new life form with a tail and optional wings who joins the family. But, when things become dysfunctional, Mom starts performing experimental surgery and Dad has sex with her, right before she turns into a guy with a really bad disposition. It’s fun in a disconcerting sort of way. Farmhouse (2008) – Chad and Scarlet are leaving their old life in search of a fresh start. Instead they go to hell where they are tortured by Steven Weber and his dead wife. Turns out they deserve it. Mega Piranha (2010) – This Sci-Fi original movie is terrible but it has giant Piranha that really need to be seen. They start off normal but double in size every 36 hours. You do the math. They wind up about as big as your house and a lot faster. Sure it’s stupid but as big as your house! Sick Girl (2009) – Izzy is clearly insane and we catch her at her worst as she begins a killing spree on her school bus that will include a nun and her fellow students, some of whom will be held captive and sexually molested to death, but not before she tortures and kills three pre-teens who had the poor judgment to bully her brother. There is a certain integrity to the dementia of this movie that makes it not only disgusting, reprehensible and morally unacceptable but very entertaining. Dead Snow (2009) – Nazis in Norway. They were there and apparently froze up and never left. The Norwegian film industry must be revitalized by this Zombie epic setting a new standard in undead action. A Perfect Getaway (2009) – Due in no small part to the cosmic ambiguity of Timothy Olyphant, this movie is full of twists and turns and the treachery of writer/director Steve Twoy's script. It is a lot of fun to watch and if you should happen to guess the ending, it will only enhance your satisfaction. The Crazies – A remake of the George Romero cult classic and the film that prompted Roger Ebert to denounce zombies. But it’s not really about zombies. It’s more about how the government is willing to kill everything and everybody to keep a good secret and it’s pretty exciting. Shutter Island – Martin Scorsese adds a final line of dialogue to Dennis Lehane’s book and that’s what we are blaming for an inadvertent obscenity and flying out of our chair in a critical snit. Forewarned is forearmed. You can handle it and you should because it is often a stunning movie and a delight to watch. The Wolfman – It's almost black and white and traditionally creepy looking and Benicio Del Toro makes for a fine wolfman (and does bear a slight resemblance to the original Larry Talbot, Lon Chaney Jr.) and crazy stuff does happen but we didn't really feel the thrills we had hoped for and our associate fell asleep (she claims she just nodded a couple of times). Still, it's an admirable Wolfman effort given so few have actually been made. Edge of Darkness – Mel Gibson on a straight-up revenge trip after his daughter is killed by the company for which she works and Mel does it as good as anybody. The body count is high, the action is fast and the violence unrelenting, the way, we assume, you like it. Avatar – We here at Drive-In Reviews have finally seen Avatar for ourselves and are prepared to say without qualification it is the most spectacular movie ever made and can't imagine anyone really arguing the point and yes we saw the 3D bonanza on a mile high screen at the Imax and no we didn't become ill despite Junior Mints and popcorn. Is there someone out there who didn't like this movie? Legion – Once again it’s the end of the world as God has allegedly lost faith in mankind and so has given the okay to exterminating us. Archangel Michael, however, begs to differ and pays a subsequent visit to Dennis Quaid’s gas station in the middle of nowhere as the fate of man is decided in a grand finale Angel throw-down between archangel Michael and Gabrielle, neither of which resembles Christopher Walken in the slightest. Lots of zombie types and some nice acting. Don’t be greedy. Kick-Ass – Roger liked it until it moved into “dark, dark” territory. That would be when the 11 year old starts her killing spree just like Angelina Jolie but younger. User ratings for this movie are off the chart suggesting a moral abyss separating viewers and reviewers. But there’s nothing wrong with an occasional moral abyss. Just don’t go swimming. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – In Sweden apparently they take their books seriously and this is pretty much the book minus some extraneous sexual escapades but including Lisbeth's brutal revenge on her probation officer who really messed with the wrong girl. It's something of a murder mystery featuring the the same girl who will be in the next two sequels; the one with the dragon tattoo. The one you don't want to mess with. Green Zone – Matt Damon is NOT Jason Bourne even though he's made two appearances as Bourne and is preparing for a third with the guy who is directing all Matt Damon war-related movies – Paul Greengrass. My guess is they couldn't pass up this seminal story of how we got tricked into Iraq and were compelled to make this movie no matter what chaos it creates in the Bourne Marketing Dept. Greg Kinnear once again a standout. Repo Men – They're repossessing organs whose owners have failed to keep payments up and there are an unbelievable number of dead beats, no pun intended. Unfortunately for Jude Law he is not only a repo man but he has also become a client. While the premise of this movie is pretty straightforward they went the distance on ramifications and it gets really disgusting which, of course, is one of the reasons we're recommending it. The Book of Eli – Denzel Washington is Eli and the book is the Bible but just so you don’t get the wrong idea Eli slaughters several dozen evil doers right at the top and is then hounded relentlessly by Gary Oldman who thinks the "book" is what he needs to rule what’s left of the masses in post apocalyptic America. Thoughtful and bloody but mostly bloody. Daybreakers – A world where the living dead outnumber the living and the blood supply is running out. Nothing seems to make a lot of sense in this movie despite a reasonably good cast (yes, including Ethan Hawke) and some nifty vampires. But maybe nifty vampires are enough in which case... It's Complicated – Yes, it’s a romantic comedy and maybe you don’t care but I think Alec Baldwin is about the funniest guy in show biz and I like Meryl Streep and everyone behaved accordingly except for Steve Martin who played a congenial nerd and all too well. Crazy Heart – Jeff Bridges is the over the hill country singer Bad Blake who is drunk, broke and out of songs. If Jeff Bridges weren’t such a fantastic actor, he might be Bad Blake. As it is, he just plays him in the movie and really well. See Colin Farrell as Bad Blake’s country singin’ protege and not bad for an Irish kid. Sherlock Holmes – The good news is it's action-packed with both Holmes and Watson (Robert Downey and Jude Law) totally up for the action which is also the news that’s not so good. We may not want our Sherlocks to be action heroes no matter what Guy Ritchie thinks. My guess is, it’s not easy entertaining Madonna. The really good time is expected when MTV finally airs “Jude Law's Nanny”. It promises to tell everything. Up In The Air – George Clooney appears to have become a movie star for real. Aside from being very good, the movie is making money and its all George Clooney who plays a very happy sales guy who lives in airports and is about to achieve his life’s goal: ten million frequent flyer miles. That, of course, is when, of course, things begin to go awry. George says the film made him rethink his matrimonial stance. Add joke here. The Road – This is a great movie but not a good time. The end of the world seemed so cool in 2012 but it turns out to be the slow agonizing death of extinction with hope not so much springing forth but just sort of leaking out unnoticed. Especially unpleasant if you have kids and like them. Ninja Assassin – The fantastic previews led everyone to believe this was going to be something really special and it’s not although it does have more than its share of rousing chop socky action and perhaps that’s enough. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call, New Orleans – We have not yet seen this but Roger is giving it four stars and comparing it favorably to Abel Ferrara’s Bad Lieutenant with Harvey Keitel. He says the main difference is the new one is a comedy but we thought the old one was a comedy. 2012 – No we haven’t seen this yet either but who doesn’t want to see the end of the world and live to tell the tale. And it gets three and a half stars from Roger and you get to see that little monk guy swept off a mountain top by a tidal wave. Come on! Paranormal Activity – a 15 thousand dollar ghost story that really works with one camera, a couple of decent actors and mercifully sparse dialogue. May (2002) – Roger Ebert proclaimed this debut film by director Lucky McKee a four star masterpiece and he wasn't far from wrong. It is unbelievably creepy and contains its fair share of blood, guts and gore but never so much as to upset the balance of all the hideous ingredients including Jeremy Sisto as a student filmmaker who shows his own short film featuring two lovers eating each other. May loved it. Layer Cake (2004) – Contrary to what you might think this is not a Guy Richie movie. It's an Irish crime movie and most of the dialogue is easily understandable. Daniel Craig is excellent as a successful cocaine dealer trying to leave the business. It's not easy and for a lot of folks, it's fatal as well as entertaining. Law Abiding Citizen (2009) – Yes it's a revenge movie but relatively mind boggling and it turns out there might be such a thing as too much revenge. And you may find yourself switching side’s midway through the game. Or not. Crazy Lips (2000) – Things happen in this movie that simply cannot be believed and is one of the reasons Japanese movies are so darn special. A family searches for their suspected serial killing son with the help of a psychic couple who instigate rape, murder and absolutely unacceptable sexual proclivities. It could not be more offensive or entertaining in that unacceptable sort of way. Zombie Strippers (2009) – An outbreak of zombies, once again caused by botched military experiments, is overrunning everything including a strip club where some of the girls have fallen victim yet continue to strip to the delight of their patrons until, of course, they start eating their patrons. The movie is suitably tacky, funny and very entertaining but its primary feature is a highly imaginative level of old school gore mixed admirably with the virtues of naked and half-naked women (specifically Jenna Jameson). Facing Ali (2008) – Ten of his former opponents go on camera to tell what it was like to fight The Greatest. And whether they won or lost, no one denies he was the greatest. Ron Lyle, who came within seconds of winning a decision before it was stopped in the 15th, says, no, he's not bitter, "If it weren't for Ali who'd be here talking to me...and about what?" And George Foreman claims that Joe Frazier didn't know what an Uncle Tom was and thought Ali was accusing him of being a peeping tom. MosquitoMan aka Mansquito (2004) – This is pretty much what you might guess but distinguishes itself in a number of ways; it takes itself seriously, it features the lovely if eternally untalented Musseta Vander going through a metamorphosis the entire film and much of it in hot pink underwear and the summary on the DVD box is for a different movie albeit another mosquito movie whose identity we have not yet discovered. It's Alive (2008) – A remake of the Larry Cohen cult classic except now it looks like something from Ibsen with a very formal visual style, a Nordic chill in the action, some wooden acting and credits that would indicate an Eastern European location. Still, if you’re a devotee of the baby’s born evil genre (and who isn’t?), it’s a must see. The baby still slaughters everybody in sight although there is very little sight of the actual baby. Whip It (2009) – Ellen Page (Babe Ruthless) plays a 17 year old Texas girl who finds a talent for Roller Derby where women are free to kick the shit out of each other in the name of sport. Juliette Lewis is Iron Maven. It’s a funny, smart movie thanks in no small way to director Drew Barrymore who also is Smashley Simpson. Blame it on Fidel (2006) – In French with subtitles nine year old Anna has the incredible misfortune of going from a wealthy upper class lifestyle, which couldn’t be more fun, to tawdry squalor as her parents are suddenly seized by socialist ideals and the election of Salvador Allende in distant Chili. They subsequently begin to pursue a life of appropriate self denial with an unfortunate vengeance. It’s funny, smart, tragic and, thanks to the nine year old, completely entertaining. Dog Eat Dog (2008) – Small time crime in Columbia it turns out is just as fascinating as small time crime everywhere else. And nowhere is it acceptable to steal money from your crime boss and yet it keeps happening. In Columbia (home of the Columbian necktie) the results are especially brutal. Hurt Locker (2009) – First she made our favorite vampire movie Near Dark and now our favorite bomb defusing Bagdad war movie featuring the untimely and hellacious death of Ralph Fiennes which just seemed like an added bonus to a great movie. Drag Me To Hell – Again and again. This movie was too much fun and spares no one. They don’t make ‘em like this anymore but wait, apparently they do! District 9 – Aliens as slum dwellers. They arrived here years ago. They are not in good health and they don’t seem too concerned about personal hygiene. And the hero or our story has been genetically altered and is turning into one and his ass is up for grabs by everyone. Inglourious Basterds – This is a really beautiful movie to watch but it’s also very exciting and Brad Pitt is fantastic. It’s almost irritating that Quentin Tarantino seems to be improving as a movie maker. < Back to Current Reviews |